As the holidays draw near, I have been on the phone calling and texting with my sister about Thanksgiving and Christmas. We are reviewing menu favorites, things to do different this year over last year, games we want to play, what we want to drink, etc. My sister lives about 2 hours from me. Sometimes we spend the night at her house and sometimes we don’t, so our menu and plans
changes depending on our time there. My kids love going to see my sister and her family, I’ve tracked back as far as the spring that my kids are checking in to make sure we’re still going to Aunt Chelseas for Thanksgiving.
When we go to my sisters for Thanksgiving, I know exactly what to expect. I know her kitchen well and I know to help myself as we cook side by side, preparing our Thanksgiving meal for her family of 5 and mine of 6. We usually have some music on in the kitchen that competes with the football game in the adjacent room. Our favorite song that we like to karaoke to is Wilson Phillips’, “Release Me.” We have our wooden spoons in hand as our mock microphones, singing our hearts out. It’s so much fun and I can’t help but smile as I think back through the years of this memory.
As I begin to gather equipment to take to her house, I check things off my list and set things aside so that I don’t forget anything. This warms my heart. I look forward to Thanksgiving Day surrounded by those I love, her family and mine.
I was with friends a few days ago and they were talking about traditions. I was trying to think of what traditions I had in my life and it took me a while to come up with some.
One of my favorite traditions, unrelated to the holidays, is when my mom comes in town and we hit several spring high school plays. I do a little research to see what plays are being offered by the local high schools and then I plan our time around which ones we want to see and how long they’re running. We like to hit one on Friday night, and then a matinee on Saturday, grab some dinner and then an evening show. This is a newer tradition, only a few years old but I absolutely love it. We have a lot of fun together as we are in awe of the talent these young kids have and what they share.
Another one of my favorite traditions is Christmas cards and letters. Because I don’t spend a lot of time on social media, this is a time for me to connect with friends and family. This may be a dying thing but I love it. My family fights to read over the cards and letters that we receive from loved ones in the mail. Reading letters and seeing pictures of families brings back happy times we’ve had with these people in our life.
The third tradition I want to mention is New Years Eve with my family. I don’t mean my spouse and kids, but my siblings and their families. Every other year we rent a house together to ring in the new year. I am the oldest of 5 and there are 22 grandchildren between us 5 kids. We have quite a range in age of kids, 24 down to 4 mos. (and have I ever mentioned there are 4 sets of twins between my siblings and I?). As the family is aging, different family members can and can’t come. Everybody is busy! Weddings, new babies, girlfriends and boyfriends, fiancés, etc. We usually have a cooking contest with a common ingredient. One year it was chocolate chip cookies, another year it was salsa. This year it is cranberries. While this New Years Eve tradition is fun for my big family to think back on and anticipate, I have to say that not everything is always happy and cheerful during our stay together. There are disagreements, and
Traditions help bring a sense of belonging. Usually traditions involve other people in our community, whether that’s a community within our friend group or our family. We are wired to be with other people, we are not meant to be solo all the time. We are social beings in our natural state.
Traditions can create memories for us to share, enjoy and reflect on. Usually something becomes a tradition because it creates fond feelings and memories -thats why we continue to do things over and over again is because it feels good.
Stability is another benefit of having traditions. We know what to expect which brings us feelings of safety and security. Our traditions become reliable for us emotionally where we feel at ease and at peace.
As my family grows older and my kids leave the nest to create their own life, some traditions will naturally fall by the wayside. While this can be sad and hard to work through, it does bring opportunities for new traditions. I have friends whose families are growing and they are welcoming growth in the form of in-laws and grand babies. Continuing some traditions may work, but creating some new ones can be fun also.
With the holidays around the corner, enjoy the traditions that you currently have and consider how you can either enhance the traditions you have or maybe think about what new ones you’d like to create.
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