Do you respond or react?

When I think of the word react, I think “knee-jerk or reflex,” like when you go to the doctor and he taps on your knee cap, waiting for your foot to pop up into the air. I think also what fits in this category of react is a thought that we don’t get to choose how we show up.  It’s automatic and it’s just how it is, we’re a victim of our circumstance and there’s nothing we can do about it.  The end

On the flip side of this same coin is respond.  When we respond, there’s usually a thoughtful pause before we do or say something. We can take the few extra seconds to think. We can even choose to wait longer to respond- hours, days or weeks.  And sometimes we choose not to respond at all. We get to choose.

Whether we get rear ended, have somebody run into us with a shopping cart, or the front desk is screaming and yelling at us, or we have that condescending and rude patient again, we get to choose how we respond.

How we choose to respond is where all of our power lies. I’ve said this before, our choices determine so much of our outcome.  Sometimes how we initially respond creates a snowball of events where things can spiral out of control and we’re left with no choices.  Think of road rage or any situation where things escalate, get quickly out of control and then things are said or done that can’t be fixed or taken back.

Learning to take a thoughtful pause and breath a nice deep breath will help you ground yourself.  Emotionally you can take back your power and bring it back to you.  Learn how to slow your heart rate, slow your mind and focus on your breathing. From a grounded, thoughtful place, you will be able to choose how you respond.  You will be able to think of your options and the outcomes and intentionally choose what you want.

Next time you feel yourself escalate, take that thoughtful pause to get yourself back on track. This is just like any other muscle and it will get easier as you practice it more and more.  You’re awareness around your nervous system response may take some time for you to recognize, but as you do, you will gain control and clarity.