Little mouths, big feelings: understanding our younger patients

I love self-help books and my latest read is The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. The book is focused on the decline of teen mental health and well-being as the use of technology increases via cellphones, social media, etc. The book shows just how devastating the rapid switch to a phone-based childhood has been as compared to a play-based childhood. Rates of depression and anxiety sharply increased in the pre-teen/teen age group with the introduction of cellphones in 2010.

Haidt, the author, explains how he believes this is related to a shift in parenting in the late 80's where parents became fearful of sex predators and kidnappers. Parents kept their children inside to play rather than sending them outside for unsupervised play. Turns out unsupervised play is very important in childhood development. This time period, the 1980's, fits in perfectly with the arrival of video games into our American culture and then further down the timeline, computers, cellphones and more technology.

Going back to the importance of unsupervised play, Haidt writes that play-based childhood is natures way of wiring up brains that want to discover and explore where as the counterpart, a phone-based childhood, does the opposite, putting children in a defensive mode.

Why is discovery so important for children? It fosters learning and growth. Kids learn to scan for opportunities, how to think for themselves and have a "let me grow" mindset vs a "keep me safe" mindset. When kids are allowed to think for themselves and grow they learn to rely on themselves and this fosters self confidence. When they fall, they learn can pick themselves up, brush themselves off and move on.

When kids are in defensive mode, they have learned to scan for dangers, have a scarcity mindset, cling to others and think, "keep me safe." This teaches them the opposite of self-confidence.

The point I want to highlight is an analogy of a tree and the importance that wind plays in the development and health of the tree. Trees that have no wind do not grow strong roots to support the tree and the tree ends up falling over. Trees that are exposed to strong winds grow stronger in return. "When the wind blows, it bends the tree, which tugs at the roots on the windward side and compresses the wood on the other side. In response, the root system expands to provide a firmer anchor where it is needed, and the compressed wood cells change their stucture to become stronger and firmer. " The areas of compressed wood are called stress wood or reaction wood. Trees that grow in a protected environment, like a green house, fall over from their own weight before they reach maturity. Their root systems are underdeveloped as is the strength of the tree trunk.

We all need stressors and they serve a purpose. Think of your immune system. My oldest son Tyson was sick all the time as a toddler and I was petrified he would miss his whole kindergarten year when he started school. Turns out all the colds, coughs and flus paid off in the form of a good immune system. His kindergarten, first and second grade years were marked with 100% attendance. Stressors help to keep us strong.

Adversities in life come in many forms. Learning to accept adversity with a knowledge that it will make us stronger and more resilient, will help us as we grow deeper, wider roots.