According to google, we have about 6,000 thoughts per day. If this seems low to you, I would agree. If you keep reading through the google response, it says other estimates suggest as much as 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. Whether its 6,000 thoughts a day, or 60,000 thoughts a day, or somewhere in between, thats a lot of thinking! Our minds are constantly flooded with thoughts -thoughts about everything, the minuscule silly things like what junk mail to look at to the bigger stuff like marriage, career, retirement, etc.
I’m sure it differs from person to person just how many of these thoughts are helpful and how many are not helpful. We can call this positive thinking and negative thinking maybe, but I think using the categories of helpful and not helpful helps us make a clearer distinction between the two categories.
I wrote an earlier post on all the “could, should” thoughts that are not helpful. Refer back to the post if you haven’t read it.
Let’s talk about unhelpful thinking. It really serves no purpose. It doesn’t get us anywhere, advance us in any way or produce any kind of income. It doesn’t motivate us to do better, although sometimes we think hating ourselves can bring about positive changes. It doesn’t. It’s just there to discourage us and helps to create a spiral in our thinking and our views. We have no where to arrive with unhelpful thinking other than self-doubt and loathing. One of my all time favorite quotes is “worry pretends to be necessary.” Eckhart Tolle is the author of this quote. Somehow we think the sleepless nights serve a purpose, the worry advances us in some way.
Here are some ways to challenge those unhelpful thoughts we may experience:
1. Have I overcome this worry before?
2. Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
3. What evidence shows this is true?
4. Will this matter in a few months?
5. Am I over reacting?
6. What is the worst that could really happen?
7. What is a more helpful thought?
8. What is another possibility?
9. What would the people who care about me think?
10. What is another possibility?
And my personal favorite, “if my friend had this thought, what would I tell her?” Listening to our own advice we would give to a friend who shares our same struggle can be helpful.
Doing a thought download can help us uncover some of the thoughts that are sneaky and hiding down low in the deep, dark crevices of our mind. So grab a piece of paper and write, write, write! Write all things that come to your mind. You can always throw it away when you’re done, but getting it out on paper will help you identify just what it is thats between your ears.
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