Did anybody ever teach you how to think? Or that you can have thoughts about your thinking? Did anybody pull you aside and say, “hey, those little things that pop up inside your head that tell you you’re fat and ugly and not popular, did you know that those are just your thoughts and you don’t have to believe those things?” Chances are nobody did that for you and I know nobody did that for me.
I remember the first time somebody tried to tell me I could control my thoughts. It was about 15 years ago and I was in an appointment with a life coach whom I’d heard great things about. As we talked about things, she suggested that maybe I should try to think different thoughts. I about fell out of my chair. For the life of me, I could not figure out what she was talking about, I knew I could not control what pops up in my head, it just happens and I have no control over my thoughts. I was annoyed that anybody should suggest such a crazy, ludacris idea. What the heck was she talking about? I was very angry and I really wanted to throat punch her and poke her eyes out. I did not return, I stormed out of her office wondering how somebody could possibly think I had control over my thoughts. It took me many years to learn that indeed, I do have control over my thoughts. When I talk about this “ah-ha” moment with my coach friends, we all responded the same way when it finally sunk in that we could control our thoughts - anger. Angry that we can’t just say, “well, it’s just what I was thinking. I can’t help it,” implying that we’re just a victim of our own thoughts.
Through the years, I have learned the depth of this truth: we are the author of our thoughts and we indeed do have control over what we think. If we want to think differently about something, we can.
Our brains job is to make life easy for us, to help preserve energy and help us survive. It does this through repetition and patterns. Repetition and patterns make things easy and comfortable for us. Thinking the same things over and over is comfortable because it’s what we’ve always done and sometimes we don’t know how to do things different. We don’t know how to stop the cycle. Learning to think about our thinking and challenge our thoughts is a valuable life skill that is worth learning. Most of us go throughout our adult life living subconscious thoughts that play out in our mind, over and over again.
I have learned that our brain is like a 2-year old, flashing and wielding a knife. Whether you do or do not have experience with 2-year olds, with just this imagery, your instincts will kick in and you will know that you have to control the 2-year old, they are incapable of managing themselves with a knife. Our brain is much the same, we must learn to control it. Don’t believe everything your brain tells you. Question what it tells you and learn to evaluate what you think of your thinking.
Learning to think about our thinking is a little out there and a little meta. If it’s a new concept or idea for you, it may take a while for you to digest and understand. Our thinking seems unimportant on the surface until we realize that our thoughts are the source of all of our emotions and feelings. From our feelings, we take actions, good or bad.
So from here, sit on this for a while and consider the things that have been said. Play with different thoughts that “pop up” in your mind and explore. We are so used to believing our thoughts.
Don’t believe everything your brain tells you.
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