Getting to know yourself so that others can know you

My sons Blake and Tyson

If we are craving more connection with others, one of the first things we need to do is get to know ourself.

How do you get to know yourself better? We have to give ourselves more white space and room for observation. Learning to step back and allow ourselves to ponder such questions as

• What do I love to do?

• What do I dread?

• How do I respond to stress?

• What gets me excited?

• What am I passionate about?

Learning what our tendencies and preferences are in relationship to other people will help us understand our own needs.

Nobody is born with self knowledge. These are things we have to learn as we experience life. We tend to learn more about ourselves during lifes pivotal times like graduation, new jobs, evolving relationships, marriage, divorce, etc. The goal is to examine our natural instincts so that we can make choices that better suit us.

Sometimes these preferences change over time. I used to be a morning person when I worked clinical hygiene. I hit the gym before work most mornings. Over time, my body and my preferences have chanced and I am not a morning person anymore. I also used to enjoy entertaining and hosting holidays at my house. As my family grew and changed, so did my preferences for hosting.

When we gain self knowledge, it allows us to have authentic relationships while maintaining good connections. When we more clearly understand our true nature, we show up less stressed in our relationships and can communicate our desires, wants and needs.