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Embrace your worth by cultivating lovability and self-compassion

Writer's picture: Jenny Willis, RDH Jenny Willis, RDH

If I were to ask you how lovable are you, what would your answer be? Do you think of a percentage? Or do you come up with a number on the 1-10 scale?  When you come up with your number, whether it be a percentage or you've used the 1-10 scale, you might say you're not 100% because you have flaws. You might start listing all of your imperfections that make you less than 100% lovable, like you're not as good of a wife as you should be, or you aren’t living up to your potential, you could do a better job with your patients, show up better as a parent, be a better daughter, sister or friend.  If you could fix these things and make them perfect, do you think you would be more lovable?  What if I told you that you are 100% lovable, worthy and wonderful with all your flaws and imperfections.


When did you start believing that you had to be different to be lovable?  At what age did you start believing you had to be different than you are? When did you start to believe that who you are isn’t enough?  Maybe you tell yourself you shouldn’t talk so loud, or that you should wear different clothes, act more like a lady, stop upsetting people, do more… At some point we bought into the lie that we aren’t lovable as we are.  “The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that something was wrong with me.” Glennon Doyle. You have been 100% lovable the whole time - your whole life, even now as you sit and read this. The only problem is you’ve never believed it.  If somebody doesn’t love you, that means nothing about you.  Give yourself permission to be who you are and stop trying to change. You do not need to change to make you more lovable.


You are 100% lovable at all times regardless of your mistakes. Apply this concept to your life and see how it feels. How good are you at loving yourself? Sometimes it is easier to love somebody else than it is to love ourselves.


Hold space and allow for yourself to be human.


If you were able to love yourself, how might your life change? 


What if you loved yourself more than anybody ever loved you, what does that look like? How do you talk to yourself? What mercies do you offer to yourself that you've withheld and chosen not to give you?



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